i barfeds in our rink
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
