I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
not ubering you a puppy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
