I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
