I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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