I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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