Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
