And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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