How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
