K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have fence marks all over my body
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
