I want to have your abortion
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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