She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
