U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
