We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
