it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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