I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He felt like a one man threesome
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
