My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
