eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
