Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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