my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.