Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods

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(212): Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods http://tfl.nu/urut

Replies (8) Good night (1485) Bad night (618)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush

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(859): I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush http://tfl.nu/5sx8

Replies (33) Good night (1046) Bad night (1956)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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(505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b

Replies (42) Good night (1274) Bad night (2502)
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(916): View more from California

I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"

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(916): I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences" http://tfl.nu/bi6b

Replies (16) Good night (5041) Bad night (1634)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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(602): You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary. http://tfl.nu/hnqx

Replies (24) Good night (5557) Bad night (1201)
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(406): View more from Montana

What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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(406): What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name? http://tfl.nu/6xxw

Replies (10) Good night (4663) Bad night (1120)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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(201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil

Replies (20) Good night (1739) Bad night (2990)
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(303): View more from Colorado

According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.

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(303): According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool. http://tfl.nu/eu48

Replies (5) Good night (3195) Bad night (1091)
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(305): View more from Florida

I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.

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(305): I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead. http://tfl.nu/c42w

Replies (9) Good night (1549) Bad night (768)
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(845): View more from New York

also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm

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(845): also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm http://tfl.nu/66ib

Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (1259)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway

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(262): say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway http://tfl.nu/917j

Replies (16) Good night (1343) Bad night (548)
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(303): View more from Colorado

trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

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(303): trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes http://tfl.nu/w6ny

Replies (2) Good night (806) Bad night (508)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (636)
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(425): View more from Washington

When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.

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(425): When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately. http://tfl.nu/qs87

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (248)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.

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(336): I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting. http://tfl.nu/ebs4

Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (147)

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