Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
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I can't put those talents on a resume
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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