Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

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  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (874) Bad night (1517)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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  (540): new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/tvzk
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (1650)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.

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  (732): I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv. http://tfl.nu/27sr
  Replies (32) Good night (1452) Bad night (4437)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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  (513): She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight. http://tfl.nu/4s7r
  Replies (21) Good night (3441) Bad night (730)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck

  (734): View more from Michigan

  omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore

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  (734): I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck (734): omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore http://tfl.nu/u6lq
  Replies (32) Good night (973) Bad night (4045)
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  (925): View more from California

  anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

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  (925): anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend. http://tfl.nu/wrr6
  Replies (21) Good night (5348) Bad night (967)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3493) Bad night (2514)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.

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  (601): Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit. http://tfl.nu/lbl1
  Replies (7) Good night (2601) Bad night (715)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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  (724): Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks. http://tfl.nu/a8rg
  Replies (19) Good night (3846) Bad night (1395)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.

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  (904): Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men. http://tfl.nu/3bcx
  Replies (8) Good night (813) Bad night (2164)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

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  (812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb
  Replies (9) Good night (1237) Bad night (821)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
  Replies (12) Good night (793) Bad night (2219)
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  (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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  (760): Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly http://tfl.nu/j8y5
  Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (452)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.

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  (702): I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs. http://tfl.nu/2t39
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (391)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day

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  (518): Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day http://tfl.nu/4jpm
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (219)

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