Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
