The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
