she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
