I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
