The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
