remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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