Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
