he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
