New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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