Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
