Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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