I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
