4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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