So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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