I just pynch a tree in the face
I think I won the penis lottery.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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