im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
