I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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