I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
