On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
