I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
