someone get that fucking seahorse.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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