why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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