you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
