I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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