You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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