I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
