I hope mine doesn't look like that
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
