I don't remember. Are we still dating?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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