I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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