Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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