Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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