Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
