Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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