Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize